Episode 30 - Anna & The Dreaming Otter - A Very Special Episode - Women's transitions, ceremonies & magic

Hi everyone, welcome to Menopause Chats. I'm your host, Aaron Druska. Today we have a very special episode. Like, think of those 80s TV shows where you had a very special episode of. So today is a very special episode of Menopause Chats. I have Anna from the Dreaming Otter. I'm gonna gush a little bit on Anna because I have known her, I think for five years. We realize it's our our five-year anniversary.

We're five.

I know. Um so I've worked with Anna in her women's circles and individually, and um have learned Reiki from her as well. And so I feel very um honored to have you here today and get to share your magic, like you get to share your magic with everyone. So it's gonna be a little different today. It will still be have a chat component, but it'll be a little different. So I'm gonna hand it over to you, Anna.

Oh, thank you, magic goddess. Hi, Erin. It is really, really, really lovely to get to do this with you and to all of the magic goddesses who are listening. Hello, warm welcome. I'm super glad that you're here. Um, yeah, Erin, with your kind permission, I do want to start just with a simple blessing for this space. This is part of how I work in the world, and I'm a real big fan of a container. So uh if you are listening and joining us, uh I invite you to take what works for you and compost the rest. And this is just how we roll at the dreaming otter. And there's something about having a beautiful boundary in the beginning and end of experience that I think allows us to really blossom into it. So without further ado, there's no way you need to receive or not receive this, just see what arises for you. If it feels safe and appropriate, I'm gonna invite you to join me in just closing your eyes. Unless you're driving, then don't do that. And we're gonna take a really nice deep breath together. One of those really, really good breaths. It's like all the way deep, deep, deep down into the belly. If you're wearing your shoulders as earrings, maybe cut that out and just begin relaxing into the space. Noticing as we begin today and set sail for wherever it is that we're going, we don't rightly know. That's cool. How are you feeling today? What is so for you? I'm just gonna offer this blessing as we open as a warm welcome and a gift for each and all of us who are present. Benign, benevolent, loving, compassionate body's out of the listen being spirit. Kindness, curiosity, humor, patience, grace. Midlife Mystery. We welcome you into the space. Thank you for holding us today. Thank you for right woman, right place, right time, right story, aligning in exactly the way that is highest and best service to her. There are only two prayers and we offer them to you now. And thank you. It is said, it is done, it is dusted, and it is good, and we give thanks.

Thank you. I'm familiar with your you know, with your with your blessings from sharing space with you for so many years now. Um yeah, so tell us, uh I guess how how is I get curious about like how has midlife changed your work?

Ah, how has it not? Right, in this way. Um Well, it's always a delight to try to talk about what I do, right? Where it's like, well, I help people talk to the spirits and I help them remember what it is to work with a path of direct revelation and to sit in ceremony and to remember how to rest. Yes, yes, oh don't start me on the resting. Um, and it's like for the longest time, I thought that people were showing up to learn these tools. They wanted to learn how to do a shamanic journey, or they wanted to learn how to work with healing energy for themselves or for other people, or they wanted to learn how to do a ceremony, et cetera, et cetera. And and then somewhere around the big shift of the pandemic, there was this aha, and the light bulb came on. It was like, oh, yeah, that's what women are doing here. But actually, what we're up to is we're learning how to live in a magical way. And so that has been this big, pun intended, resounding drumbeat that has been informing my midlife. And I want to caveat that a little bit because magical life could sound mysterious or highfalutin or trademarked or whatever it isn't. Uh, each woman has her own distinct version of it. And there's something about when lately I've been talking with women in midlife passages in the magical life, that there's this curiosity about, well, oh, does a magical life mean that I'm slick and shiny and performative and everything is suddenly perfect? And it's like, no, no, beloved. It means that we are still a hot mess and we are moving through our grief or illness or aging or elder care, whatever it is. And there is this amazing way of being held when we invite the magical life and it begins answering back. So those things are still present. Hi, holy while they are. It's the midlife passage, right? Not for wussies, but it's like we are held in this beautiful and particular way. And I think one of the sweetest things about that voyage for myself and the dreaming otter with the midlife molt in the midlife passage is this is what you and I are doing, is women getting together and sharing and connecting. Like, how is this for you? What is the midlife looking like? And over here, I feel like I'm molting through identities at light speed. I was like, oh, I tried this on, nibble nibble, goldilocks, how was that for decades? Oh, I'm done with that. Blessings, thank you so much. Uh, or this way of being, or this thing that was so important, or this pastime, or this hobby, and all of a sudden, whatever this is that's coming through, right, is saying, Oh, we are complete and making space, space, space, space for the new thing to arrive. So, my my midlife passage, I'm in it, I'm navigating it, I'm you know, experiencing with my mouth flapping. Um, it's like it's soupy and strange and mysterious and bumpy and um wondrous. And I feel like for myself and the women that, you know, are drawn to the dreaming otter in whose circle, it's like we are, as we mold in our midlife, we are setting the stage for this entire next portion of our lives. This, what we do now in midlife, will affect us for the rest of our lives. That's not pressure, but there's beauty in it and play and sacredness. So, yeah, it's what's on heart and mind so far for today.

And for me, I find it to be like I want to be more intentional now. I feel like in my earlier years, it was more doing, achieving, getting things done, uh, go, go, go. I still have a lot of that and being more discerning and more uh deliberate with my time, more intentional with my time. That's part of the magic that I like to think about of like, oh, there's all these things that are possible, but what do I actually want and getting quiet enough to figure out what that is? Because I didn't allow myself to be quiet in my younger years.

Yeah. Same. I would co-sign that with you. And I feel like um, just as like call and response, is there's this piece, and you know a little bit about the passage that Scott and I have moved through to get here. So it's like there's the midlife passage, and then there was, as we had been in the Bay Area for a long, long time, there was the discovery of mold in the house, and there was a really rapid, unexpected relocation, and everything that we had known. We lived in such a beautiful place in the redwoods, everything we had known, ooh, rapidly, like woo, really, really rapidly relocated down here by the sea. And the reason I'm mentioning that is in that move, in that mold, everything that I feel like I'm moving through to your point of being intentional, everything that I'm moving through in midlife became actually literal and physical. And there was so much about editing. What do we leave behind? What do we bring with us? You know, what if we downsized a bunch? You know, what is it that is so resonant and aligned and alive for us now that it's on display and it's part of our living experience? And um, so there's there's like the the setting down of the doing, I think that resonates over here. And um, I had my own tangle of confusing doing and worthiness and all that good jazz, and you know, I am still a doer, I got a cappy moon, so like that's happening, blessings. Uh, so there's there's that piece of the discernment, right? And then there's the editing piece, I think. What am I gonna set down and what am I gonna include? Um, and yeah, there's there's something also about what is being incubated in this passage. And it feels so rich and juicy and ripe and fertile, and I feel like it's only in the making of space that we can figure out what the next chapter is that wants to come. And I am noticing myself changing. Uh, I have never been a person who loved sports, and there we were watching the World Cup this year, and it was very cool, and um have not been a huge jazz fan, and I'm noticing here, you know, H50, uh, really loving the jazz, and uh the colors that I enjoy are different, and the people who I am holding close are different, and it's like a I don't know, English, but um, there's a sea change that's happening and it's expressing itself in these outward ways. And I'm just as curious as I think every other woman in this stage is of like, well, what do we come next? Who am I really? Who am I now?

Yeah, yeah. My thing is like, I really like birds suddenly. Ah, and you can sit with this red beauty right next to you.

Yep, in my humming and your hummingbird. Is there a story about this gorgeous redness next to you here? Not really. I just like it. I dig a bird and here he is.

No, my my husband bought it for me. So for those who are just listening, I have a cardinal on my wall. Um, it's an art I can't read the person's signature, or I would call them out of you know who who it was that created it. But my uh my husband picked it up for me because he knows I like birds and was like, here's the you know, here's some artwork. So yeah, my wall is cats and birds.

There's a story happening there on your wall.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like in a in a few directions. That's awesome. And I find that a lot for women in midlife. It's like, hey, now this interest has burgeoned in me that I never saw coming, and now just really dig and can wrap my arms around in my comfort of who I am.

Yeah, it's like I'm gonna feed the bird, our local birds, I'm gonna know who they are, like what kind of birds they are. And uh I spend my mornings uh I spend looking out into our backyard where we have our feeders and get to like see them. And um, we're just on the, you know, the hummingbirds are are around with with us still right now because they will migrate south, uh, even further south. Um, but I'm very blessed to have them flit around and watch them sometimes be still. I watched one the other day try every hole in the in the in the feeder. I was like, all right, you're just trying the right one. So very goldilocks, right? It was. But it was just fun to, you know, I I enjoy watching them and you know, and I love when they like go in front of the window because I feel like they're like, hey, thanks for the food. We're out of here.

Yeah, yeah.

So it's it's just a fun thing. But yeah, there's just so many things that I look back on my own life of like, oh, that feels like a lifetime ago. It's like, oh, I used to be a personal trainer, like that's that identity's gone. Oh, I used to be a runner, that identity's gone, you know. I used to do improv comedy, like that identity's gone. You know, so there's so many things, it's still in me. But it's that, you know, all these things, these uh and I don't want to say they're masks because they weren't things I wasn't interested in, but those versions of me have like, you know, it peeled away. Like if I think about like looking back, it's like, oh, there's that version of me and that version of me and that version of me. And they're all still part of me, but are not um the current version of me.

Yeah, I'm interested that you bring that in. I was um tapping on a newsletter this morning, tap, tap, tap, tap, and doing some writing. I love writing, it's one of my joys that's coming up in midlife too. There's a book that's burgeoning and like wanting to peep out and say hello and let its whiskers waggle in the world, which is cool. And what I was writing about this morning, midlife, ladies in midlife, it's very much the focus right now, um, was how my perception, our culture is maybe generous with the passage from a young, from a girl child into a young woman. And you know, we go through puberty and this is so accepted in so many ways socially. And it's like, oh, you know, our our breasts begin to bud and our bodies change and we begin to bleed with the moon, and and then all of a sudden we're trying on identities, like it's going out out of style, right? And it's like, oh, well, what about this clothing and what about this rebellion? And what about this friendship? And you know, what about what about? And we just nibble and nibble and nibble until we complete. Uh, but it we're of course never complete. And there's such a parallel with that for me, of that passage through puberty and the midlife passage, um, which is like the counterpart, right, to that coming of age in that way physiologically. And uh very similarly, it feels like, well, how about this identity? How about this rebellion? How about this sweetness? How about this delight? Where is their pleasure in me now? And trying it on and trying it on while all the old skins are there and available in the closet, right? Should we wish to reach back? And it's interesting, it's really rich, and um, it feels like there's so much room for exploration. Like, what a cool thing to get to ponder who am I now?

Yeah. And, you know, yeah, in in with the wisdom. Yeah, because you know, when you're younger and trying on identities, you were trying them on because you didn't know yet. You know, it's like, oh, these things, and I guess you can try on identities now and not know yet either, but like you have you're you're more informed.

Yeah, there's road under your paws, right? And it's like the wisdom of the skinned knee, tried that, spat it out, didn't dig it. And um, it's a sweet time, I think, to be in midlife. And I want to also offer how much fun it is to watch our beloveds change with us, you know, women who are roughly in the midlife passage, which of course can uh be many ages. Uh, and I love it. I love watching my sisters change, where I'm like, you know, I knew you 35 years ago, and this would never have been a thing that you loved and resonated with, and now here you are, and it's fully too missed, and you're owning it and you're rocking it, and and like watching that evolution real time and my sisters is um it's a treat. It's a hoot. I'm really, really enjoying it.

It's funny that you say that because I think too of like myself, like even if I I think I've had this conversation with my husband around like the stuff that I'm into now, you know, particularly more on the mystical spiritual side. Like I I would not have, you know, probably six, seven years ago, would have even like I would have talking to you would not have been on my radar. And like I probably would have been a little judgy about it. I'm not gonna lie. I've probably been like, that's weird, whatever. And now here I am, like going on journeys and talking to spirits. It is uh it's an it's been an evolution for me. So like I feel like I can I can understand someone's skepticism because I've been there myself.

Sure.

But um I I'm enjoying this version of me. So and she's only getting deeper, right?

And juicier and more fecked and more expressed and more voluble and more quiet at the same time. And and I love that naming, you know, it's like it's a delight to know you. And we've been so well, we learned today that we're five. Hi, holy well, right? It's like you and I have sat in circles so many times, we've had so many adventures, and um, I love that you're bringing in that piece about skepticism as our our skins and identities change. And yeah, I'm formerly trained in the sciences, I hold a biology degree, and so you know, the difference between working in that world or in the former skin that worked with environmental and social justice uh or researching down a Puerto Carpus Nacional is very different than let's go have direct revelation, you know, with the spirits and let's hold ceremony and let's see what brings us to life now. It's interesting. Um, and I just I appreciate that you're bringing that in and that you're naming that. There's so many different ways that we can allow ourselves to grow. Beautiful.

And I'm also okay still if people are like, yeah, this is weird. This very special episode is very special.

Good. Fantastic. My way of being with that is like, yeah, you know, this is gonna reach the right woman in the right way and the right time. And if it's not the right way in the right time, swipe and compost and you know, off to the thing that is aligned. But that I think that's that's one of the things that we're really dancing around, right? In midlife is what is aligned for me.

Yeah.

This is true, madam. Pause and align. There you are yourself. It's like, where is this inner alignment? It's definitely a sea change, it's not going to be what it was five years ago or maybe five minutes. And is it aligned? Can I give myself the gift and the grace of saying sacred no blessings is midlife teaching, right? Around discernment and time and where we put our energy, focus, and attention. And um, can I allow this new alignment really to sing through me? Good.

Yeah, it's so it is like this alignment. I mean, it's so funny because it keeps coming back to me. And it's like, of course, I named my business pause in align, but it it every time I talk to someone's like, oh, about being in alignment. And it's like, yep, this is you know, this is the path I'm walking right now to help other people as well figure out like what what do I want? Because nobody's asked me. No, or I haven't thought about anybody else or like myself. I've been thinking about everybody else for the last X amount of years. So especially those who are caregivers, you know, or you know, in in a job that's very demanding, you know, all these things that it's like, oh, I'm putting other in front of, you know, ahead of myself. And now I what? I get to I get to pick me. Yeah. And then it's like, what do I what do I do with that? Yeah.

That resonates for me. Land was writing about that this morning. Um, you'll see the newsletter on Sunday morning. Um I think about the word tending and all of the things that women have tended. And you know, we've got all these different paths, right? You know, what did your life path call from you? But for me at least, can only speak to myself, um, with the midlife passage, there's been so much tending of everything out here. And, you know, women, of course, all different. Was it career? Was it raising a family? Was it tending a home? Was it tending a community? Was it tending, tending, tending, you know, there's so multidimensionally, I think, for so many women. Tend, tend, tend, tend, and then midlife comes along and taps us on the shoulder and says, maybe tend yourself. Maybe cut that out a little bit. And uh it's an inside job. Come within. And it's a sweet time for it, right? You know, a lot of women, if you chose to raise children, they have flown the coop or are about to fly. And if you did the career thing or and or both, uh, you know, maybe that's coming to its fullness and its ripeness. We're not done. But, you know, like there's there is a chapter, not so much of gravitas, I think, but of uh solidity from midlife that feels so good. So yeah, I I hear you and the setting down of the tending, and the tending this in the middle of the molt and the changing and the metamorphosis and the alchemy and the topsy turvy upside down messy is like it's exhilarating in its way.

Yeah, I uh that's why, you know, I I think you know this. I was talking always talk about like oh, midlife magic, and I've had other people say to me, I don't find it very magical. And I'm like, okay, yeah, I and it's true, it's not always magical, but it's the perspective I like to hold and the and the the lens through which I like to see midlife. Powerful. So you're working on something for particularly like a circle for midlife women. Say more. Yeah.

Yeah. Do we have the rest of the day? Oh, so good, so good. Uh well, I've used the word art in many times, and I've been writing a lot about it. So it's also just really in my field and in my experience, right? Um, and it's called the midlife molt. And um, oh gosh, let me just center myself because I I'm so excited about this. Like I just I want to I want to shout it from the rooftops um because I think it's important and I think it's sacred and I think it's special. This passage is special. What we do now sets us up for the rest of our lives. And again, that's not a be pressured, be precious about it, but like, how can I do this with good company and gracefully so that I really am showing up for myself and tending this? So it's a um, I do love a long container. You know this about me. You and I have sat in some long containers who were like, let's do a year and we're gonna do every month, and they're beautiful and the cohorts are lovely. And I didn't so far, I haven't felt called to set this one up that way. This is a much shorter experience, partly because when I am sitting with women in midlife, everything is full. We're doing our Editing, we're saying our sacred no, B is for boundaries, like we're doing, we're doing all that, and we are mature women and life is full. And it is very possible that the idea of a year, you know, makes people go goggle-eyed and go, I couldn't possibly. And for me, with what feels like it was to come through with the spirits, there is more gravitas to exploring this passage than maybe an afternoon together or a weekend workshop or a day-long retreat, which also can be very lovely. So it's a six-week immersion, it's a mystery school. Oh, yes, yes, so exciting. Uh, and we get together on a Sunday morning, just briefly, for an hour and a half, first thing. So you got the rest of your Sunday. And there are these, there are ingredients in the cauldron that are coming through. And if you've met me or if you're meeting me today, ah, thanks, Erin. This is so fun to sit with you. Um, all of the work that we do at the Dreaming Otter is rooted in working with our helping spirits, and that is for the midlife mold, and I offer for the inclined midlife woman incredibly juicy and potent and important. And here's why. It's my understanding of after decades of doing this work that our compassionate helping spirits know everything about us. So they know who we are and who we've been, all those skins that you and I just talked about, all those things that we goldilocksed and tried on, you know, this almost bouche, this identity, okay, good, good. They know exactly where we've been. They know what is truly in our hearts without what we're maybe presencing to everybody else, the inner workings, and they also see the larger evolutionary trajectory of where we're headed. Why did we come into this life? What was the hope? What was the exploration, the adventure that we wanted to have? So as we're molting and we're setting down and we're editing, we're figuring out, you know, who what what am I now? What is this part of the adventure? We work with our helping spirits because they can give us these insights that can be just out of reach for us or right back behind our noggins, you know, that we can't access. So it's a little bit like having a superpower in that way during the midlife passage. So we work with the spirits, we work with art. There's a lot of art in the six weeks, and it's very, very intentional. Um I'm thinking about all the women, and maybe you share this with me who um who we've known across the years. And it's like, oh, this one used to do so much art, and she this one used to sculpt, and this one used to sing, and this one used to craft with her hands, and then life got lifey, and and she set those things down. And what I find, especially for women in midlife, is we are master artisans. You made it to this point in your life, and you're doing the midlife thing of midlife molt, you are an artist in the world. And so when we give voice to that through whatever it is, you know, are we collaging? Is it mixed media? Are we working with things found in nature? Is it Play-Doh? Like, I who cares what your medium is. But that that piece of letting the interchange be expressed outwardly feels really, really juicy. So we work with art a lot. And then um, as if you're willing, we'll do today, we work with ceremony. And to your point about maybe 10 years ago, Erin would have felt really skeptical about, you know, oh, talking with the spirits and ceremony and what the what is it. Um, I just want to offer that um, if you are not a creature who wakes up and thinks, oh, today may be a ceremony, huh? I don't need to convince you of anything. I don't need to get you to drink the Kool-Aid, it's not that. I just want to offer that ceremony doesn't have to be precious or fancy or expensive. You don't have to feel like you know what you're even doing. It's just a way for us to mark important and significant passages, set things down, declare things, process, witness, and set things in motion. So we'll do ceremony together in circle and also out on the land when we're not in circle. And the fourth and final ingredient, you see, you started me talking, you put a quarter in me, just gonna happen. But I'm passionate about this work, I love it. Uh, the fourth ingredient, and this is the place where you and I have had so much time to frolic together, is community and coming together with other women who are having their very different experience and also the thing, oh, community. The thing I want to say about that in the work that I do, particularly with women moving through midlife, I do hear a lot of women feeling lonely in the passage and sometimes unmet and sometimes not held. And so there's something about coming together with other women whose expressions of the story and the adventure have looked totally different, and that is totally fine. Um, there's something about no longer feeling alone and feeling held that is inexplicably beautiful. It's so wondrous to find that. And when we share stories, like I'm thinking of some stories that I've heard from you over the years in circle, which I will not share because confidential space. Um, but it's like each woman brings her lore in circle. Her lived experience that to her may feel mundane. And to somebody else, it's like, oh my God, I waited my whole life to hear that. Thank you so much. And that sharing helps us have these almost armchair adventures and live and learn and grow through the teaching of the wise women in circle with us. And it's awesome. So, yeah, we'll do that for six weeks. We'll we'll share together, we'll work with the spirits, we'll work with art, we'll get ceremony. Uh, and we're not precious. We'll laugh and we'll snort and we'll giggle and we'll cry and um we'll feel our feelings and love each other and show up. So that's that's there may be cat sightings.

I normally always see whether you know your cat or others.

Probably cat sightings. I love that I got to see Ollie today uh before we started recording. That was awesome. I think he's still sitting there next to you. There will be cat sightings, there will be dog sightings. Um I think we've only had cats and dogs so far. I haven't seen like any guinea pigs or rabbits or maybe that'll start changing now that we've spoken it.

Yeah, now it's now it's gonna happen. Right.

Thank you for listening to all of that.

I'm so a parrot might be nice. A parrot, right?

It's like I just yeah, thank you for the question and thank you for letting me I just you know me. I care about this work. I think it's important.

And I think what's important for people who are listening to know too is that the container that you create is so easy. You know, there's you're sharing and you're in you create a space where people aren't solving your problems, people aren't opining on what you shared. People are being witnessed and they're being held and they're being heard and seen, but not fixed. Yeah, we're not here to be fixed, we're not broken. So it's it's this idea of having just this space where in it's very rare that we have this space in our lives where we get to talk and people just listen.

It's one of our thanks for bringing that up. Um, of all you've met me, be is for boundaries, I like a strong container. Uh it's like, you know, especially for the drop-in circles and at the beginning of each other long adventures like you and I have done, we every time run through our agreements. And one of them is there is no reflection, there is no opining, you know, whatever, whatever it is that's shared, the power of being witnessed in it. That's the magic. That's it. No one's gonna offer advice, no one's gonna offer their counsel. Um, there's something about being seen, whether we're having a good, ugly cry and there's snot falling out of our noses, and we're like, oh, and then we've got the you know, overshare hangover, and oh God, I was seen in that. But there's something about what do I want to say? There's something about allowing each other to have our pain, or allowing each other to have our joy, or allowing each other to have our our feralness and not needing to step in and interpret and or do anything about it, and just saying, Oh, I see you, I love you, just exactly how you are. All right. It was good, strong.

And the other thing I like to I was new to journeying prior to being introduced to you. And you because I've I think I've told other people this as well, have a very good way of teaching people how to do it. Is accessible and understandable. Like I've heard from other people who've been in other groups and have you know tried that and they're like, it doesn't work for me because they're sort of just told, like, all right, just go off and do this thing. And it's like, what wait, what? What am I doing?

Good luck.

So um, so I do think that that's something. And and if people are like, Oh, I don't know what that is, like you you help prepare people for that.

Oh, thanks, love. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that reflection. And um, I think way back in the day, at the turn of the millennia, when I started teaching and holding space, you know, it's like back back then in what 2000, 2001, Reiki was not a household word. Nobody knew what the hell that was, and shamanism was equally mysterious. And you know, what do you know those two energy healing? People would go woo, and you know, they would they would crack jokes and and still do, which is fine. Um, but there was something at that time, um, at the turn of the millennium that I found as a practitioner where whether it was because it was new or who knows why in our world has changed a million times, there was a lot of somberness in the space and a lot of um, and of course we can hold powerful space, you know, in whatever it is that we do. And there are moments when it's very appropriate to be somber. But um, there was this almost feigned preciousness that I think drove a lot of people away from working with their direct concept of the divine. And I just I appreciate you saying that. That um thank you for the reflection, that uh you have found in this space that the work can be accessible because we don't have to sit on top of a mountain and be perfectly fucking spiritual. We just don't.

It's like half the time I'm on this couch, right?

It's like literally, it's like in between doing the dishes and cleaning the cat box and you know, hanging out with a girlfriend and speaking what's on heart and mind is like that's where our spiritual practice lives. And we get to bring that ease and that comfort and familiarity and goofiness and silliness and humor uh to the work. So yeah, I I just I really appreciate a cat in a dress. Literally, sometimes you do, and then sometimes someone else is like, girl, Etsy, you gotta look at this, and then you know, okay, maybe I have a little bit of an Etsy problem. And then we're off to the Etsy races, and you know, like who knows, right? That's part of the joy of it. Who do you meet in the spirit world and then who do you meet in here, also?

Yeah. Well, I know you mentioned wanting to maybe do a little short ceremony.

Girl.

No, in our very special episode today.

I love your preface of like, yeah, remember in the 80s when there was that very special episode. We do, right? We're like, oh yeah, we do, we do. Uh-huh. Those were the most fun. I do. Um, I was on the acupuncture table the other day, and it was my magical, wondrous acupunctures, and the needles are going and the music is going. And I just had such this feeling of how much fun it would be to do a very, very, very simple ceremony for women in midlife. And so it sounds like some women may be listening to this with audio and some may be listening with video. Um, so there are two high muckety muck, very, very, very sacred, important materials you will need for this ceremony. Not really. Uh one is an object, and the object can be anything you want, something that you can set down or drop. So I'm gonna be working with a rock today. I went out. You brought rocks, let's get stoned, let's do it. So I want, I'm sorry, I can't help it, I got a bad pungie. So uh I went out in the garden and she was like, Yeah, I'd like to work with you. So I'm gonna work with a rock, but um uh you might crumple up a piece of paper, and that's your object that you can set down, or a piece of tin foil. You could go into your recycling bin and grab a tin can or a glass can bottle or you know, whatever. It doesn't matter. There's a water bottle right here. This is a perfect ceremonial ingredient, ta-da. So something you can pick up and put down or drop. That's your first very fancy ceremonial ingredient. Woo! Yes, show and tell. And then your second equally fancy ceremonial ingredient, I hope you use this as a freeze frame, um, is some water. Ta-da! Or other tasty beverage. It could be coffee, it could be iced tea, it could be your morning chai, it could be green jack, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. Um, but one of the things that I want to offer to you into this space is ceremony doesn't have to be precious. It can just be playful and simple and sweet. And the thing that came when I was thinking about my magic time with magical Erin, whose praises also I wish to sing, all the live long day, um is a big thing for women in midlife is what are we setting down and what are we intending and taking in? So this very, very, very simple ceremony that you don't have to know anything about and will take only a few minutes and be very, very simple. Works with the dynamism of what are we releasing and what are we welcoming in. And it can be really simple. So, any questions, Erin? Do you feel well set with an object and some I feel well set?

I have my rock, I have my water bottle.

So I love it. I love that we both brought rocks. That's fantastic. It's like, yeah, that's super cool. Um, so yeah, let's let's just do this. I'm gonna, I know we're still on video, I'm gonna be closing my eyes and just channeling a little bit. And so if you're watching or listening, do as you will. Um, and you're gonna need your rock and you're gonna need your water. So we've already called in the space at the beginning of the call on the very special episode, a little bit of blessing from the spirits and with them. Uh, so I'm just knowing that the space is set and that we're held here together, and that this time is sacred, whether you are listening with audio or watching with video, or whether your eyes like mine are closed. I just want to welcome you into this ceremony. If it feels safe and appropriate for you to have your eyes closed, you might consider joining me. And also, if you're driving, please don't do that. Well, don't do the ceremony if you're driving, period, but you'll get it. Uh, and so whatever your object is, I'm gonna be working with this rock, and Erin's gonna be working with hers. Maybe you picked something up out of the recycling, maybe you felt called to use a hairbrush. Cool, you got an object in your hand, either hand doesn't matter. I'm gonna invite you just to sit and get settled. Hold that object in your hand, feel its heft, feel its weight, feel its solidity in your paw. There's a lot of ways to welcome the sacred, and the way that feels simple and interesting today is maybe to work with three deep breaths. So, in your own time, your own rhythm, your own pace. Taking those three deep nourishing breath, bringing air into all the places that need it. Bringing ease and maybe a little whiff of magic in all the places that are hungry for those things. Noticing how you feel in this moment. Really, how you feel? Not what you're gonna post on social media or chit-chat about the water cooler, or say hi to with a neighbor, but really how are you in this moment of your life? Are you well? Are you grieving? Are you feeling lost? Are you feeling delighted and elated? Are you on point and on purpose and on time? None of the above, all of the above, just noticing how do you feel. If you're a Star Trek fan like I am, you'll get that reference. Bonus points. And then thinking about for however it is that you are in your life, wherever it is, whatever's unfolding for you in your midlife or your midlife mold or before it or after it. Just thinking to your own self, what are you complete with that has felt like ballast or baggage or burden for you in your life? Maybe it is one of the roles and identities that you and I, Erin, have been talking about a way of being, who you used to be, a thing you did with your time, a way people perceived or held you, or something people projected on you. Maybe when you think about what in ceremony today you are complete with. Maybe there's been something that's been dogging you, a pattern or a habit. Maybe you're moving through a time of sorrow or grieving or lostness. Maybe you're over your own nonsense and your own story, and you want to get unbound of it. Okay. Just see what comes in your heart with this next breath. And holding your object and holding your intention, which is to offer what is burdening you up to your concept of the divine, whatever that is. Goddess, God, spirit, Buddha, Allah, nature, devas, elementals, bright and well ancestors, love, miracles, grace, mystery, whatever is your concept of the divine. On the count of three, we're gonna take a really deep breath in together and gather up all of that burden. And then on the other count of three, we're gonna exhale that into the object that we're holding in our hands. So here we go, breathing in, one, two, three, gathering that burden energy. Let's do that again, breathing in, burdening, gathering. Exhaling, releasing, letting go. Looking around on the inside. What are you complete with? What do you want to sit down? What do you need to get free of breathing in? And breathing out in your object. Opening your eyes if they're closed to the object in your hand. You might feel hot, heavy, change, you might feel nothing at all. That's cool. And just looking at your object and actually thinking about that, honoring you and I were talking about your hand, honoring without fixing what it is that you are willing to let go of today in this simple ceremony here. Thank yourself. The thing that is complete. And then when you're ready, very simply and with intention, set it down. Wiggle. Complicated part of ceremony number two. Whenever we release a thing, we want to welcome something in. So here you've got your water or your tea or your tossain or your mocha or whatever is at hand that feels good. And I invite you to wrap your paws around your vessel, whatever you got, whether it's a Coke can or what are you working with there in a really cool cooler. Of course it is. That is exactly perfect. So whether you're working with a water bottle that is also a foam roller, oh, or a plastic cup or a mug or whatever you got going, just if it feels good for you, letting eyes closed. Again, not if you're driving, uh, wrapping your hands around this vessel. And one of the reasons that we invite women into ceremony at the Dreaming Otter and in general, everywhere all the time, is that we are powerful. It is possible along the way that you, as a woman, as you are listening, or you as a man, or you as a Zur are listening, that you have been taught or learned or absorbed or had passed on to you somewhere along the way that you are not powerful. And ceremony helps us remember the truth of it. I mean you are those things. You are powerful, you're graceful, you're lovable, you're good, you're worthy, you are a force in this world. So feeling this vessel in your paws, acknowledging your own power. Doesn't have to be treasures, you're not like trying real hard, feel your power, just acknowledging yourself. You are a force in this world. And with that acknowledgement and heart and mind, think about in this next chapter, this next season, this next week, this next year, this next chunk of life until that final moment when the death mystery comes to meet you. What is it that you want to walk with? What are the energies? What are the frequencies? What are the vibrations? Do you want grace? Joy, ease, adventure, belonging, forgiveness, mercy, laughter, great sex, sweetness, community, peace. What is it that you need? What's your prayer for your life? Think about it. And then with your breath, a lot of breathing today. You're gonna breathe anyhow, so you might as well work with it. It's the most sacred thing we've got as a human. I'm gonna invite you to blow that energy. With your intention, be the conduit, the hollow bone into this vessel that you're holding of some kind of liquid. And just one breath, short, simple, sweet. Here we go. What are you anchoring? What are you intending? What are you a vessel of today? Breathing in one, two, three, blowing that out. Good. And acknowledge for yourself that you are holding a vessel of power. An elixir. Liquid, living, golden, glowing light. Grace, goodness, joy ease for the path ahead. And with intention, and just as simply cheers. Taking an intentional sit. And letting that liquid make its way down. Beginning to inform flesh and blood and bone. Taking a moment unintended to pause, to align. With that frequency, with that energy, with that prayer. And just for the space of this next quiet breath together, here you go, Aaron. Here's some slow, quiet time on the podcast. Just for this next slow breath. Letting yourself be nice job.

For today. Our ceremony is complete.

Thank you. Thanks, Erin. Very special episode. It is coming to an end. Anything else you want to share before we bring this all to a close?

I want to share my gratitude to you, Erin. I love you a lot. And I think you are a marvelous, marvelous human. I really, really appreciate that you are holding a space where women get to come and explore and be supported and show up for themselves. That is badass and awesome and lovely and wonderful. And I appreciate you a lot. So I want to say that. Yeah, it's probably the moment to toot the horn, I guess. I don't think it's the tooting of the horn. I think it's the rolling out of the red welcome carpet. But it's like, hey, if you're interested, come check us out at the Dreaming Otter. I don't do social media. I'm a quiet critter. Uh what we offer is always changing and evolving. If you are a woman moving through a midlife passage or a significant threshold or an initiation in life, or very particularly if there's a dream that's waking up and saying, Me, me, me, come on, come play. Uh, I would love to welcome you. You can come hang out at a drop-in circle or the midlife mold if one is running when you meet this episode. Um, or read one of the articles or receive one of the guided inner journeys, but just you'll know what the level of thing is that you need to receive when you show up. And uh, I welcome you with warmth and with humor and with grace. Thank you so much for the time today, Erin. I really, really appreciate it.

Thank you for saying yes. I'm so excited that I get to share you with the world. Oh thank you very, very, very much.

Yeah.

And thank you all for listening. So please like, subscribe, help spread the word about menopause chats. Uh, and until next time.