Episode 28 - Xi Decker - Career pivots in midlife

Hi everyone, welcome to menopause chats. I'm your host, Aaron Daruska. Today we have C Decker, who is a functional health practitioner. Welcome, C.

Thank you so much.

And so tell us a little bit about what you do.

All right. Well, so I want to give you, you know, start off with a bit of a story as to how I got to where I am. So growing up, my parents owned a small mom and pop Chinese restaurant. And you know, some of my fondest memories is of, you know, growing up there, hanging out all day, and then at night uh the restaurant would close and we'd have to drive home about 30 minutes to uh get home. And uh a lot of times I'd fall asleep and my dad would have to carry me into the car, you know, from the car to the house. And but a lot of times I was actually not asleep, but I pretended to be because I just loved the way it felt, you know, for my dad to uh carry me from the car into the house and tuck me into bed. So and now it's February 9th, 2020, and I'm uh heading back from breakfast with my family. My husband Matt is driving, and we have our two little boys in the back, uh Reese, who's two, and Corbin who's five. And I get a call from my sister. She says, See, Dad just died. And I just remember saying that can't be. We're supposed to have more time. And um because I was actually supposed to fly out the very next day to see him, but it was too late. Um he died um from his eight-year-long battle of colon cancer at age 75. And after the funeral, just a few weeks later, the world shuts down, March 2020. And you know, uh in this time of you know of an isolation, I remember we had got one of those uh bubble machines, you know, for our kids to play or play in the backyard. And you know, as they're running around trying to chase the bubbles, I just you know, my thoughts go to my dad, obviously. But also I'm thinking about my mom, who's uh been battling uh severe rheumatoid arthritis over the past decade, you know, severely like disfiguring her hands and her her risk and limiting her mobility. And then my sister who battled uh breast cancer just a few years earlier. So then I started, you know, just really just thinking about my my own health. And while I wasn't sick, I I wasn't truly healthy either. I was uh waking up for weeks on end around 2, 3 a.m. and not being able to fall back asleep. I was experiencing waking in the midsection, I had rising blood pressure, I had digestive and bloating issues. And so, you know, look at that moment when I was watching my kids, I really made that decision. I'm gonna prioritize my health. And so, you know, I ate well, I you know, exercised routinely, but my symptoms didn't change. And it really wasn't until I uh did a series of functional health tests that really uncovered what was driving my symptoms, which included H. pylori and candida overgrowth. It included uh an immune system that was overactivated, you know, it also included um my gut was I had that intestinal permeability, which is like leaky gut, basically. So, you know, these were these were the reasons why I was experienced those symptoms. And with that knowledge, I was able to develop a plan to actually resolve uh my health. And it ultimately led me to what I do today.

Well, I'm sorry about your loss.

Yeah.

And uh and yeah, when you're saying 2020, I was like, oh, like that was like a rough time in general.

For everyone, yes, yes, I can imagine that. Yeah.

And so yeah, so tell me, what were you doing? So you said it led you to this point. What were you doing prior to this?

Yeah, so prior to that, uh my I had a career in in biotechnology. So I did that for about 25 years, where I focused on women's health, sexual health, as well as um oncology. And yeah, particularly around precision medicine. So I know a lot of the kind of the background around why the tests we develop are available, and you know, but also know kind of the dark side as to why the tests, especially ones that are more focused on proactive health, um, are not covered, right, by insurance, for example, or not even developed by the test manufacturers. You know, a lot of it has tied to reimbursement, a lot of it's tied to insurance, uh, you know, and so unfortunately, you know, um health care is a business. And I think a lot of times that's not um necessarily uh discussed, but but that's uh that's kind of the reality.

Yeah, the the priority is not on wellness, it's on treating illness.

Yes, exactly. I mean, what I call is uh it's sick care. So you you go there if you have a symptom and they'll give you a therapy, a drug, right? And it's because it's not necessarily the doctor's fault either. It's just that they have been trained that way as well. And so it's it's and also in some ways the patient as well, right? We're kind of expected when we go to a doctor, they're gonna give us something to make us feel better, right? Uh and so we kind of have this um this kind of circle of of of dependence, of, of, you know, like these kind of quick fixes for for for a lot of things, yeah.

It's that makes me curious, or like how do we break that cycle, like for ourselves? I mean, obviously there's a whole systemic issue that this podcast is not made for.

Yeah, I mean, I mean one of the things is that uh to listen to your body, because your your body, when it's when you're experiencing a symptom, your body's trying to communicate with you. And I think that's one thing that's important for women to know is that it's not, you know, just like, okay, how do I, you know, tamper down the symptom? It's like, well, what's really causing it? Because um, you know, most likely what's causing it is what you need to address. It's not, you know, like, oh, if I'm uh, you know, like gaining weight, let me just, you know, maybe just take a weight loss drug, right? Because if you're if if that's all you're doing, it's not gonna be enough. And so I think this is where the mindset has to shift that, you know, one is that you need to listen to your body and understand why the symptoms are coming, but then also that there isn't such a thing as a quick fix where you could just, you know, like take a drug and automatically it will resolve all your symptoms, right? Because uh most likely it's addressing that symptom, but it's not addressing the underlying cause. And so then that um it can show up in a different way, even as you're taking the the drug that's supposed to resolve the symptom.

Well, and if I think about drugs and like all the side effects, like sometimes taking the drug, like you have to outweigh the risk, right? You're like, do I want all these side effects for this one thing? Like this was my conversation with my my healthcare provider around statins. It's like, okay, do I want to go on a statin that will, you know, it will lower my cholesterol? One, I have to take it for the rest of my life. And two, it comes with all these other side effects that right now aren't bothering me. Yes. And so I I personally made the decision of like, uh, I'm just gonna keep exercising and and trying to, you know, modify my diet and hope for the best. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, I think, and and then also the fact that you are kind of monitoring, I think that's that's another key too, is that um you kind of can't really track it, like unless you're tracking, you know, through through testing, uh you don't know what where your baseline is, you know, where there needs to be kind of corrective action. And so a lot of times, you know, especially like nowadays, right, on Instagram and everywhere, it's like, okay, try this supplement. This works, this, this thing worked with for me. And, you know, uh, but what you have to realize is that it may have worked for that person, but it doesn't mean it's gonna work for you, right? Um, there's an individuality to to all of this. And so unless you understand what your body actually needs and what it doesn't need, um, in a lot of ways it's you're just rolling the dice when you're when you're trying something without that knowledge. Yeah.

And or without talking to someone who has some knowledge, right? Yes. Because that's what I wanted to ask you about. I was like, there's a lot of influencers out there, and there is a lot of information, maybe misinformation. That's an overload. So how do people kind of know who to listen to, who not to listen to?

Well, I think if someone is just really touting something, you know, just one thing in particular, and they're um you you kind of have to understand, like, you know, why is it that they're so focused on this one product, right? Because that's what I see. So a lot of times the influencer is more focused on this one product. Well, obviously there's probably a commission tied to that, but um, but also like what is the the evidence around that product too, right? So I mean, um if if the um the product is, you know, if you go to the website and you're not able to see, like, okay, how how is the product manufactured? Is it, you know, are you using good manufacturing practices? Is it you know being tested by third party for you know contaminants, um, you know, and and also purity? So there's just a lot of things you want to know. And then also, are they doing like clinical studies on the product to show that it actually is working as they um you know claim, right? So a lot of times they they would just make a lot of claims, but it's not actually true because they don't have the evidence to back it up. So those are kind of the three key key things I would focus on when you're you know trying a supplement or or or or a drug, yeah.

Yeah. And so how do you work with people? Like, so if someone was interested in working with you, like what should they expect in working with someone who's a functional health practitioner?

Well, so I mean, I think the first thing is that um I focus more on the individual. And so you will never hear like general advice from me, like, oh, you know, like how much, you know, you eat uh, you know, one one one gram of protein for every pound, or you know, like you know, that's just like kind of the general rights because it is individual. So, and that's why I uh focus on the the the functional labs as one of the first things that um the client would do when they work with me, because that one gives you kind of the good foundation as to okay, what are the areas do we need to look at? Whether cytohormone, immune, detoxification, digestion, energy, nervous system, oxidative stress, like understanding your body as a whole system, not as these individual, like compartmentalized um the way modern uh medicine is.

Yeah. And do people work with you virtually in person?

Yeah, so I uh work virtually. So then uh with that, um the program is you know tied to uh doing one thing at a time, right? Because I mean, obviously you have the functional labs, you get a series of data, it's like it can be overwhelming. And I think that's the difference too, is that a lot of times you even if you go to a doctor and you're you're kind of given that general advice, like eat eat more, you know, like well, like eat less, you know, exercise more, maybe sleep better, but they don't give you very much specifics, especially individualized for that person. And so um with my program, it's very individualized and it's you know every week going through a different set of uh you know things to action items to work on so that it's progressive over 90 days. So it's not like like you know, I mentioned before, there's it's not like a quick fix, it's not something, you know, uh within you know a week, your your symptoms will be solved. Um, but you will definitely notice uh a shift um, you know, because I did it personally myself, uh, on myself, and then also uh with my clients that they notice a shift, you know, within a few weeks, but then to really make that um lifestyle change, it takes about 90, 90 days. Yeah.

Yeah, it's yeah, it's it would be so nice if you can just be like, it's done. Snap your fingers, here it is. But yeah, things take work, right? And and I always look at it like my weight fluctuates, and I think of like, you know, when my weight is up, like I know why, I know what happened, like and I got into bad habits. And like I just have to get back into the good habits, and they both take a while. Neither one of those things, whether it's gaining weight or losing weight, for me happened overnight.

Yes, yes, yes, yeah, no, no, I agree with that. Like I think uh that is the thing. It's like uh I think sometimes uh I've I've heard the saying like you know, like you kind of um worked your way to your health that where you are now. And so to be able to you know get back to a state of health, you're just gonna have to work backwards. And so you have to take that same amount of time. Yeah, like it doesn't happen overnight, like the you know, whether it's the cholesterol or the blood pressure or the symptoms you're experiencing, they didn't happen overnight. Your body was probably giving you um signals for for for years sometimes, right?

Well, I mean that's perimenopause, right? Like literally, your body is giving you signals for years. And whether you or your you know healthcare provider know to read those symptoms or signals as something that could be, you know, uh addressed in some way, shape, or form probably depends on the education of the doctor and the education of the patient.

Yeah.

Which is my always my hopes of this is like by having these conversations that people go, oh, maybe. And then that opens them up to having a conversation with, you know, their healthcare provider to get the help that they need or to get the you know relief, you know, that they need. And I really like the idea of you saying like it's very individualized, right? Because and asking the questions, right? It's like you can say, Yeah, sleep bad or sleep more. Well, okay, but like if your sleep hygiene is not good to begin with, or you have really bad habits, like I'm oh, you know what? Well, I'm having coffee every night with dinner. It's probably not gonna help you. Or, you know, I um I it like I sleep in a really noisy environment. It's right, you know, like it's just or I'm on my phone and you know, I see my phone next to my bed. It's like all of these they're I mean, they're little things, but like if your sleep hygiene is bad to begin with, like that's maybe look at that habit first to change before like and then it should help inform the sleep, right? Yeah, but um, but you can't just like sleep more. Okay, thanks for that.

Or exactly. Because I honestly the the doctors don't have those specifics, right? Like they're they're not trained in doing that, and so I think that's part of it, is that it is uh a very complementary need, right? You know, doctors have have, you know, like when it comes to acute disorders or you know, things where you need immediate help, right? It's really good to have them. But when it comes to being more proactive and you know, and and and not a disease state, uh preclinical as we call it, um, that's where it's good to, you know, look beyond uh the current healthcare system. Because I think, you know, one of the things that I often hear um, you know, from potential clients is that they're very used to, you know, like say the labs being covered, right, by insurance. Um, and um, you know, a lot of labs that I run are not covered. And it's because of the fact that insurance is reimbursing for disease detection, right, and not for prevention. And so it's it's a it's a mindset shift. And I think that's you know, like um something that uh a lot of women are noticing now. Like you see, like a lot of people are, you know, maybe paying for like the functional health labs, for example, just to understand their baseline for all these different markers, right?

Yeah, so they're paying for the disease, not the dis-ease.

Yes, yes, yes. Exactly.

It's the same, but it's yeah, it and it just uh it amazes me. And so yeah, I guess if um, and I think that probably is in some ways a barrier for some people, then it's like, well, I can't afford to go outside of my insurance. Some people can't even afford insurance, you know. So that's I think another again, not this podcast. A problem for a different podcast. Um, but yeah, it's so tough to like figure it's like, oh, I want to be like I'm privileged enough to be able to get the care that I that I want. Yes, yes, and so I have to always remind myself of that like not every so it's like what can people do if they don't have I guess this is a good question for you. What what can people do if they don't have the means to see see a functional, you know, or see someone outside of their insurance?

Yeah, I mean, I I think just always just fundamental things that they can do, you know, from yeah, when types comes to diet, uh exercise, sleep, and stress management, those are things that you know that that can be done uh without uh you know like needing more details. So uh, but you know, one of the things that I have, I have an assessment that you know that you can see what type of um like uh oxidative state you are whenever you're eating. And so, for example, if you're a fast oxidizer, you know, like you should actually be eating more protein uh based and and and less carbs. And then, but if you're a slow oxidizer, you should be you know eating more carbs, or you know, like your ratio is is more carbs to to protein. Um, and so you're that that and that's just the free assessment that that can be done. Um, but but you know, just knowing that as well as you know, potentially uh testing your your food sensitivities, that sometimes can be covered by insurance um to see, you know, maybe you are uh, you know, like sensitive, you're not allergic necessarily, but maybe you're sensitive to some foods that you're eating on a daily basis, like maybe dairy or wheat.

Um so it's understanding that because those are and I think another like a free way to do that, right, is just doing eliminations, right? So like, hey, listen, I'm not I'm not gonna have dairy this week and see how I feel, and then I'm gonna eat dairy again and be like, see how I feel. Exactly. It's like so. If someone's even saying, I don't even have, I can't even afford to do the sensitivity test, it's like you can kind of do your own in some ways, you know. Or I've done that recently where I've just noticed like there's just certain foods no that no longer agree with me, or I've noticed like, oh, yeah, I can't drink wine. It's been a couple of years, but I can't drink wine. So it's like a get acid reflux. It's like, okay, good to know. Um, you know, and then it's like, all right, well, I was having who was it recently? I feel like garlic's bothering me lately. You know, so it's just like, okay, I noticed these things, or this is how I feel, or if I have uh, I know I don't have celiac, but like, you know, if I have a lot of gluten, I feel it in my body. Yes. And so it's like these things I know. Sometimes I'm willing to take that discomfort. But you know, other times it's like, no, like I I don't want to feel that way today.

Yeah, no, no, and I think that's great. Like you're listening to your body, right? And I think your your body, like, you know, I mentioned in the beginning, like your body is sending signals. Yeah. And a lot of times we've just, you know, gotten used to ignoring them or accepting those symptoms as being, you know, just part of aging, or you know, like, oh, it's just, you know, my my bloating, it's just yeah, I just have it, you know, like, but without really, you know, kind of thinking about, okay, why am I having that, right? So yeah.

I mean, I certainly didn't think about any of these things when I was younger, you know. I just was like, well, I just I ate some fried food and I feel bad, whatever. I'm gonna eat some more fried food.

Yes, yes.

But now knowing, like, oh, or if I have something that's really a lot of sodium, like just oh I'm really thirsty, like, you know, just noticing these things, but I do think I'm much more aware of my body and how my body reacts to things than I was when I was younger.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Is there anything else that you think would be helpful for um for people to know?

Well, I I think, you know, one of the things uh I always like to remind, you know, especially women who are, you know, uh going going in their 40s and 50s, I think, you know, a lot of times this portrayed as you're kind of at the at the at the peak and you're going down, right? Like in terms of you know, your your your your your vitality and and your life. And I I I can honestly say I'm 51 and I feel like the most uh like energetic and most like my ability to kind of be who I want to be and and and decide for myself what I want to do. Uh I've never had that in my life. I felt like before I was kind of living this uh life for maybe other people. And but I feel like now, and it's part of you know, maybe part of the aging where you you don't care right so much what people think. And so you're free to kind of what what I say is like going back to yourself because I I'm I'm not trying to reinvent myself or become a different version of myself. It's actually coming back to who I was, yeah. Um, you know, and you know, like one of the things I actually started this year was actually uh adult gymnastics, you know. Like I did that when I was younger, and I was like, hey, you know what? I actually want to try that again, right? And because I really enjoyed it. And so it's it's actually coming back to who you were all along, but it may have gotten lost in the you know 20 or 30 years that you've been living in. I love that.

I love that. I started taking tap dancing a couple years ago. Similarly, it's like I took this as a kid for like two weeks because I just wanted the shoes, but now it's like, oh, I actually like it's it's fun. I'm not great at it, but it's it's still fun, it's still fun to do. So um, so I like that. And I agree, like I feel um one of the things that I do working with women is is having them learn to be more intentional. Like, what do I actually want? And where am I spending my time and what do I want to do with the time that I have? Yeah. Versus like I'm doing all the things because I think I'm supposed to, or you know, out of obligation, or out of just thoughtless, thoughtful thoughtlessness is not the word I'm looking for, but like out of just not thinking about it.

Yeah, just yeah.

Um so yeah. So anyway, um, if someone was interested in learning more about what you do, how do they get in touch with you?

Uh well, they can uh go to my website, it's xidecker, x i d e c e r dot com. Or I'm also on Instagram uh at the same uh XIDekker.

Great. Well, thank you so much. Um well thank you everybody for listening. Um please like, subscribe, help spread the word about menopause chats, and until next time.

Thanks so much.