How to Control Stress- Sonya McDonald

[00:00:00] Wo gibt's eigentlich die weißen Rosen aus Athen? Und wo regnet's für mich nochmal rote Rosen? Natürlich im Europa-Rosarium Sangerhausen, mit der größten Rosensammlung der Welt. Viele tausend Rosenarten warten auf Sie, mit prachtvollen Blüten und herrlichem Duft. www.rosarium.de Hey guys, Corey Poirier here. Welcome to BluTalks and I hope you enjoy this video.

[00:00:25] What's the number one thing silently destroying more lives, more health, more performance and leadership today?

[00:00:57] It's not lack of skill. It's not lack of knowledge. It's stress. Did you know that nearly 75% of employees say that stress is impacting how they think, perform, and decide? And nearly 50% of professionals report burnout. So this isn't just a personal issue, it's a performance issue. Because people that are burned out, when the people are burned out, their focus drops,

[00:01:27] their communication suffers, and decision-making declines. In high-pressure environments, performance is not determined by what you know. It's determined by how your nervous system responds to stress. And in the next 10 seconds, I'm going to show you how to take control of that. Now I want everyone to stand up and check in on your energy. How are you guys feeling in your body in this moment?

[00:01:50] For the next 10 seconds, I want you to shake your whole body like you're releasing stress from your entire nervous system. Ready? Now start shaking. Okay, let's get going. Don't worry about looking silly, everybody. Keep shaking. It's okay to look silly. Can you guys feel that shift in your energy? In the room? That's not motivation. That's physiology.

[00:02:19] We just interrupted a pattern in 10 seconds. And today, I'm going to teach you how to regulate stress before it starts regulating you. Now, I didn't learn this from a textbook. I learned it the hard way. I was the nurse, the wife, the mom, the woman doing everything for everyone else while I was quietly putting myself last. I was pushing through stress, working long hours, chasing success, but never slowing down long enough to really take care of myself.

[00:02:50] Do you guys keep pushing through and not taking care of yourself, forgetting all about yourself in the process? Well, that was me, and when I did that for too long, my body stopped cooperating, and it shut down completely. Not long after, I was in the doctor's office. I was staring at the white, sterile walls. They were kind of closing in on me. And then came the words out of the doctor's mouth.

[00:03:16] He said, Sonia, you have severe rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. My world just shattered in that moment. No time to prepare, no discussion, just told me that news. And my life just really had changed. My body started hurting, my joints were swelling. I just was having such high anxiety from all of the news and the way I was feeling in my body. I had to cut back my hours because I couldn't even stand for long shifts anymore.

[00:03:45] My health was declining. And I had to adjust to a complete new reality. And fast forward about another 13 years after that whole diagnosis, despite doing everything, trying to be so careful, trying to do all the precautions, do everything right to not get sick, I got so sick, like really sick. Had to drive myself in, fever raging, chest pain, gasping for air. And I was hospitalized and all alone in a room.

[00:04:15] And I had to lie there in that bed. And I asked myself, have I just been living or just existing? For so many years, I was pushing and performing and doing everything all the time that I stopped taking care of myself. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt like that? Like you're functioning and pushing and performing and you keep going, keep going, keep going. But internally, you feel so disconnected inside. Well, that was my wake-up call.

[00:04:45] I realized I could not override stress anymore. I couldn't pretend I was okay. I had to slow down and really listen to my body, not to keep fighting it. Stress really changed how I performed, how I functioned, how I started living my life. And that's why being here with all of you at the University of Miami means so much to me. Because this conversation is no longer optional. It's necessary.

[00:05:12] Because most people wait for a breakdown before they start slowing down. I don't want that for you. I want so much more for all of you, just like I wanted for myself. It just took me a long time to realize it. And I want you to know how to recognize stress before it takes over. How to regulate it and lead through it. Because stress doesn't always scream. Sometimes it whispers first.

[00:05:36] Fatigue, brain fog, irritability, exhaustion, decreasing your focus. Those are not inconveniences, you guys. Those are warning signs. Your brain has one job under stress. That's to keep you safe. Not to help you perform your best. Your thinking brain goes offline. And in those moments when you're under stress, you stop responding and you start reacting.

[00:06:05] That's why leaders get dysregulated and the teams really feel it. It shows up as communication changing, patience shortens, and trust erodes and culture shifts. Stress doesn't affect just one person and it ripples into the entire team. People feel your energy before they hear your words. So that's how we regulate ourselves is how we're going to impact others.

[00:06:33] And that shows up as poor decisions, reactive communication, mistakes and burnout, and being overwhelmed. Because stress isn't just a mindset problem. It's a physiological response. And you can't think your way out of stress, but you can regulate your way through it. And now I'm going to show you my Ignite tool that I created. It's a 60-second nervous system reset that I share in my book, Unshakeable, and with audiences around the world. And I'm going to show you that right now.

[00:07:03] I, you're going to inhale and ground. You're going to put your feet firmly in the ground and take a deep breath in and out. That signals safety to your body. Then G, you're going to get honest. How am I really feeling right now? Am I stressed? Am I overwhelmed? Am I anxious? You can't reset what you don't acknowledge. Then N, you're going to name what you need. What do I need in this moment?

[00:07:28] Do I need a little walk, some space, a sip of water, maybe just a break? And then I, you're going to interrupt the pattern like we did earlier. You're going to move your body for like 10 seconds. You might do jumping jacks or shake it out. And then T, you're going to tap into gratitude. You're going to name one thing that you're grateful for in the moment right now. And then E, you're going to exhale and empower. You're going to say, I am safe, I am capable, and I am in control.

[00:07:57] Now I'm going to go through three life scenarios, real life scenarios, where you can regulate instead of react. First scenario. You know that moment you wake up and as soon as your feet hit the floor, your mind starts racing. Emails, deadlines, meetings are piling up. Your cognitive overload is through the roof before your day even starts. So what do you do? You take a pause. You take a deep breath in and out a few times.

[00:08:28] You regulate your body. You move a little bit and you reset it. Second scenario. You're ready to go into a presentation, a meeting, or a big decision that's going to happen. And before you feel it, right then, your heart starts racing. Your thoughts are speeding up. Your stomach tightens. Your chest tightens. So what do you do? Before you speak, you're going to pause. You're going to take some deep breaths in and out.

[00:08:59] And you're going to really ground yourself. Put those feet in the floor. Or you might even do a power pose. Just in that quick moment, just when you're feeling that stress. And here's the thing. You don't let pressure control you. You get to control your state within the pressure. The third scenario. The conversation is over, but the stress is not. You don't want to carry your stress into your next interaction or your next meeting. Because if you do, your performance is going to drop. And here's the thing that I learned.

[00:09:27] You don't want to hold on to stress because it'll really get you sick. It happened to me. Trust me. I know this. And what happens to your body and when you're holding on to stress is you become more reactive, less focused, less productive. So what are you going to do? You're going to go take a walk. You might step outside. You might go turn the music up. You might shake it out. You might do jumping jacks. Just to reset. Not to fix the situation, but to tell your body the moment has passed.

[00:09:56] To settle your nervous system. Because the most effective leaders are not the least stressed. They are the most regulated. They learn to pause, reset, respond instead of react. And regulation will change everything with that movement. Because people don't rise to the level of their training. They fall to the level of their regulation. And the good news is, regulation is a skill you can train.

[00:10:26] Thank you.

[00:10:27] This podcast is a part of the C-Suite Radio Network.

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